Time to think

Breelands Weather

The midnight autumn air is cool but pleasant around you. The sky is clear and the moon shines brightly.

Bree\'s Healing House - Front Yard

In front of the healing house is a narrow cobble stone walkway that wends its way to the double front doors of Bree\'s Healing House. On one side of the path is a yard filled with lush green grass and a rambling rose garden, while on the other side are neat rows of medical herbs, each one clearly labeled with a little sign. Along the cobble stone path are two benchs for guests to sit upon - one for human guests, and the other for hobbit guests. A small brass plaque on the front of the Healing House reads: \"HEALING HOUSE OF BREE - NO WEAPONS ALLOWED\"

Contents:

Thari

Obvious exits:

Healing House and Out

[Frarin] The September morning is much like any other morning of the month, overcast and dull, lending shades of grey to the pale autumn light. The town is awake to be sure, and down in the market and at the Pony Breefolk are already in full action, but away from the bustle of the centre of town, things are quieter. Here in the front yard of the Healing House, only the whisper of a light breeze brushing around the edges of buildings can be heard, while in the distance the low hum of the market. And without the warmth of a fine day, it seems almost lonely.

To any normal Breelander, at least. But today, the garden\'s sole occupant is by no means a normal Breelander, and to him the world of the outdoor is the most beautiful sight to have graced his eyes in nearly three score of days. Seated in a special chair brought from within the Healing House, Frarin sits back from the garden\'s entrance, almost up against the side of the building itself. A thick, solid walking stick leans up against his chair, but it seems unlikely that the dwarf has reached the outdoors entirely by himself.

There is no sling about the silver merchant\'s left arm any longer, though the fingers are still purple and yellow, and the bulge of a bandage at his hip is concealed by the heavy cloak wrapped over his shoulders. A small stand has been brought out, however, and his left leg is raised upon it. But there is nothing to entertain Frarin this morning, nor does there appear the need. He doses at this hour, beard gathering at his throat as his head dips forward precariously.

[Thari(#31038)]

The door to the healing house opens and Thari emerges. She limps very slowly forward with the aid of a crutch, dressed in cleaned and mended clothes with her hair and beard neatly braided. The healer on the other side of the door watches the dwarf go for a bit before closing it again.

Thari\'s adventure doesn\'t seem too terribly ambitious. Slowly she makes her way toward the herb garden nearby, not having yet glanced toward Frarin\'s sleeping form.

[Frarin] A very light breeze rustles through the garden, bringing the damp September air, so recently devoid of rain, slipping in around Frarin. He shifts in his sleep, head coming up a little as he reaches for the edges of his cloak to pull it closer to him. The ends of his mustache blow and his eyes screw up in slumber as if irritated by the movement. Slowly he drifts into waking.

Eyes opening very gradually, Frarin focuses at first upon the rough grey blanket that has been spread across his lap. He sniffs sleepily, swallows, and audibly exhales, then yawns to top it all off. Then the dark gaze comes lazily up and, catching a movement, focuses on the hobbled Thari. Frarin frowns and looks away for a moment, sleep leaving him entirely. But he says nothing, eyes now and again flicking back to the healer as his shoulders slump forward, perhaps making an effort to continue his lack of discovery.

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari arrives at her destination. Balancing on one leg, clutching the crutch, she leans over to squint at a sign. Her beard wags, a nearly-respectable chest length now.

Something causes her to straighten and glance over her shoulder, where her gaze lies upon Frarin. For the space of perhaps two breaths she cannot break that glance, just looking at him with lips slightly parted, before she looks away again all at once. She stands there stiffly.

[Frarin] Well there\'s nothing for it now. Try though he might, Frarin does not maintain his concealment for long. As Thari turns and catches sight of him, he glances very quickly at her, then away, taking a sudden interest in the little gate at the end of the garden path that leads to Broad Way. Only when Thari manages to look away does Frarin look back. His gaze flickers from the healer\'s face to the herbs at her feet, then back again.

Pressing his lips together, Frarin softly clears his throat. But Thari stands there stiffly, and the silver merchant breathes in several disjointed gulps of air. Then, looking up, he forces a half-smile that does not reach his cautious eyes. \"Good, ah, morning,\" he rumbles experimentally.

[Thari(#31038)]

\"Good morning, Frarin,\" Thari says in a subdued voice, eyes turned away but not down. \"Didn\'t, ah, ask if you were out here.\" She shifts her weight and looks at the door to the hated healing house. After a moment she turns and starts limping slowly toward the gate instead.

[Frarin] Frarin\'s heavy brows rise the barest fraction of an inch as Thari returns his greeting, but his shoulders slump again as she mumbles and turns away towards the gate. The silver merchant drops his gaze to his lap again and swallows, heaving a soft sigh. But then his jaw shifts, even as he looks down, and he clears his throat again. Then up come the dark eyes once more and Frarin looks after the healer.

\"Thari?\" he says quietly, not needing to raise his voice much in the deserted garden. \"Thari, could we...could you stay a moment?\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari stops when he says her name, not even waiting for the question. Her shoulders lift in a sigh while her hand lifts to cover and then rub at her eyes.

She drops her hand while awkwardly turning to face him. \"Yes, Frarin, I\'ll stay, for a moment or two,\" she says. Her voice is deep and gentle.

[Frarin] Frarin clasps his hands together, almost awkwardly, as Thari agrees to linger a moment longer. But now that the consent has been gained, he seems almost at a loss, for he says nothing initially, only glancing to one of the benches near him, as if considering whether to gesture Thari towards one of them. He does not though, in the end, instead shifting his jaw again and glancing at the ground near Thari\'s feet.

It lasts perhaps less than a minute, but the silence seems to stretch on much longer. Again, Frarin uncomfortably clears his throat, a growing habit of late. \"Is this your first visit outside?\" he asks lamely, though his expression says clearly he is as irked by his own poor attempt at conversation as Thari should rightly be. His jaw tightens, however, suggesting there is something much more troubling upon his mind, the words for which are slow in coming.

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari shifts awkwardly on one foot, adjusting the crutch. This dwarf studies Frarin the whole time he is speaking, taking in every motion, every gesture and glance. \"No, Frarin,\" answers Thari in a guarded tone. \"I\'ve been out before. Perhaps you were sleeping? Or perhaps just the curtain was drawn.\" Finally a limping step forward is taken.

[Arainafin(#9802)] To the wilds and woodlands born and raised elf such as Arainafin there are few sights under Anor or Ithil that are rare, unique, and wonderous. Few sights that cannot fill the maiden with awe. And fewer still which would not arouse her curiosity and peak her interest.

But, to nearly all things in Arda, there is a limit. While that which lurks under logs or moist river banks is a fond and familiar sight, a pair of dwarves undergoing a mating ritual in the bright morning light is seems to fail in enthralling her. She attempts to slink off before being noticed and, of course, things progress into the realms of the ... surreal?

[Frarin] Frarin straightens as Thari moves again, as if fearing the healer means to leave the garden. Sucking in a breath, he replies, slightly quickly, \"No, I didn\'t.\" His jaw tightens again, his lips pressing together as he seems to steal himself for something. Then his brows come together. \"Listen, Thari,\" he says cautiously, testing the water, \"I\'d like to say something to you. You have done very well in leaving me alone and I have had plenty of time to think. And I would...I would like to say something. If you will permit it.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

As seems to be the elf\'s hearfelt desire, the dwarves do not seem to pay much attention to her, either being too caught up in being awkward, or simply a lack of perceptiveness in the race for something like spotting an elf who is trying to remain hidden.

Thari frowns at Frarin, not taking another step forward. A quiet sigh is given through the nose, and then a nod. \"All right, of course I\'ll listen. I didn\'t mean to imply that I wanted to be rude.\" The healer\'s shoulders hunch as if bracing for a blow while another limping step forward is taken.

[Frarin] Again there is an uneasy clearing of the throat from Frarin and the usually grim, confident merchant appears unsure how to proceed. His glance flickers a second time to the hobbit bench a few feet from him, and this time he raises his good arm slightly and nods at it. \"Would you sit down? Would you /like/ to sit down?\" he corrects, muttering.

Then he takes a great breath and frowns, opening his mouth a second before he speaks. \"Well, let\'s see. I have had some time to think, as I said,\" he rumbles, looking at Thari. \"And it has been odd and new and...painful, for me. And I...\" His brow wrinkles and shadows gather across his face as his head shakes with frustration, his usual composure fading. \"No, you probably don\'t understand a word of what I am trying to say. Truth be told, Thari, my dilemma is that I do not know what to think. About...all of this, I mean.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari hesitates a while, casting a longing glance toward the door, then at last hobbles toward Frarin. Awkwardly the healer sits, clutching at the crutch for dear life and positioned rather a touch away from him than toward.

Thari\'s hands fidget once the crutch is laid down, then fold tightly over lap. Grey eyes look to his shoulder before drifting toward the neutral grass. \"I am sorry,\" somes the low reply. \"Believe me it was not my intention to bring pain. I am sure that soon I will be able to leave and perhaps you will be able to forget all of this.\"

[Arainafin(#9802)]

No. Some things are best not known. The elven maid doesn\'t even look back as she wends her way up the lane. At one moment however she pauses and freezes, letting a hand in hand pair of hobbits go past. Shaking her head, perhaps at the mental imagery of further miniature coupling events and no doubt she is well on her way back to safer and saner shores where more normal creatures may disport themselves, no doubt with less fraught, just maybe, greater dignity, and most certainly, causing less eye strain.

Arainafin makes her way back to the road.

Arainafin has left.

[Frarin] \"No, well, that\'s just the thing,\" Frarin continues, frowning beneath dark brows. His gaze follows Thari\'s to the grass as he takes several shallow breaths. \"I haven\'t...I haven\'t stopped thinking about it. And I think it would be very hard to, now that I have had to. Even if you left.\" He squints at her, as if seeking to know if she understands. \"Does that make sense at all?\"

Again the silver merchant shakes his head, speaking again before Thari can answer. \"No, of course it doesn\'t. I don\'t know quite how to put it.\" Another great steadying breath and Frarin seems to find solid ground. \"Thari, I think you should know something. Something that very much defined me when I was younger and continues, I think, to do so today. I have spoken of it to very few people, but I think it may help to explain...what I\'m rambling on about.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Slowly Thari\'s brows draw together as a yet-unnoticed fey shadow departs. Her grey eyes, silvery in the stormy light, they lift to look at his face. This perplexed expression is presented to him as she hesitantly nods once, as if encouraging him to continue. Her fingers tighten over one another.

[Frarin] The healer\'s nod does indeed encourage Frarin, who swallows and seems slightly more at ease as he continues. Looking at his own clasped hands as they rest upon his lap, he narrates very quietly, as if having rehearsed the words in his head.

\"I have always been of a solemn nature, understand,\" he says. \"My father was as well, and I was told my temperament stemmed from his. But there is more than that. When I was...when I was seventy-one, my father marched to war and did not return. He forbade me from accompanying him to the defense of Erebor, and...well, for a long time I blamed him for his death. I suppose I believed I might have done something had I been allowed to march with him.\"

Frarin glances up for just a moment, a sad half-smile upon his face before his gaze drops again. \"Now, of course, my mind knows better, though the heart is not always so logical. But, afterwards, I...\" He pauses, the pre-planned speech faltering. \"I did not...I felt guilt at having blamed my father, and I did not want such a guilt again. And something in me resigned never to be so tied to the decisions of another so strongly. It is illogical, I know, to have believed such personal committments would lead to a similar guilt, but there it is.\"

\"And so I never thought about others so...intimately,\" he continues, looking now at Thari. \"And ceased to think about ever doing so. Until, well, now I\'m wondering.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari\'s face is still one of intense concentration, brows knit together. She even leans slightly toward him from her bench, as if being nearer will make enlightenment easier. She nods a few times while listening. Her eyes roam intently over his face. \"That was surely difficult, dear Frarin,\" she says quietly. \"Please forgive me for bringing up painful memories.\"

[Frarin] Frarin shakes his head, frowning still more deeply. \"No no, I do not look for pity in telling you this,\" he rumbles. \"And I do not want an apology. It was long ago. If anyhow, I seek to amend my own rash words to you.\" He pauses, taking several deep breaths, continuing to look to his clasped hands. \"But what I mean is that, partly because of all of that, I have always been sure of my mind. It is easy to be impersonal, you see. It is easy. Now, though, I...I do not know what I think, do not know /what/ to think.\"

Slowly, swallowing, Frarin lifts his dark gaze to look Thari full on. There is no grimness in his eyes, though no vulnerability either. Only a sense of one who is unsure. \"I do not...would never wish to cause you further hurt by prolonging painful feelings. But neither do I think it fair to you for me to so rashly...answer your confession. I try to consider all matters thoroughly, to avoid bias. And I do not wish to imply anything that does not exist, but I realise I applied all of my own bias when you spoke to me a week ago.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari stops breathing for a moment when Frarin\'s gaze lifts to her. She then presses a hand to her stomach and starts again in measured little breaths. \"Oh,\" is all she says at first. Her eyes drop to his mouth, to his beard. The hand at her belly lifts to rub at her own mouth. \"And you... you desire more time to think?\" she guesses weakly. There is a quick tremble in her hand, just as quickly stifled to stillness again.

[Frarin] \"I do,\" the silver merchant replies, quiet but steady. \"I know asking for that will likely encourage exactly what I seek to avoid.\" He does not mention aloud the prospect of arising a false hope, but the seems to be his meaning, for he frowns at Thari as if silently pleading with her to avoid any renewed anticipation. Eyes flicking to Thari\'s brief trembling hand, Frarin presses his lips together for a moment.

\"But yes, I would ask for some time to consider everything, and perhaps to attempt to untangle my own jumble of thoughts. I do not...know how long, but I will not leave you in the dark at the end. Avoid me still if that is most comfortable for you, but when my mind is more decided, I will seek you out.\"

[Thari(#31038)]

Thari\'s once-trembling hand lifts now to rub at her brow, her eyes dropping down. \"I was already giving you time alone,\" she says in a partly wounded, partly vexed tone. \"Do not fear, for you shall have more.\" She takes up her crutch and uses it to lever herself to a standing position.

She hesitates, then gives an awkward little bow towards him while not looking at him at all. \"Forgive me, again. Sometimes lately it seems that I have lost control of myself. I will try to do better.\" She begins to limp away.

[Frarin] Frarin seems unsure of how to interpret the healer\'s first words, for his frown only deepens and he says nothing. He blinks several times as she bows to him and begins to move away. \"Please, Thari, I do not want an apology. Nor do I deserve one.\" Hesitating a moment longer, he rumbles on. \"And I know you have given me time alone and I could have gone on thinking whatever I needed to without having spoken to you. But I...wanted you to know. That is all.\"

Then he nods after her and falls silent, letting his gaze drift around the garden, unable either to watch Thari\'s departure or fall back into slumber.

[Thari(#31038)]

\"Thank you for telling me,\" Thari says while moving slowly away. She soon awkwardly manages the door to pass within the building again. The door closes behind her, and Frarin is left alone again.