The Mayor of Bree Hill

Smial Rise - At the Smials(#27941Rto)

The road winds up the side of Bree Hill, going past many hobbit smials on the way to the hilltop. The view from here is lovely, looking out over the city of Bree and the lands beyond to the west. On a clear day, one can see the Blue Mountains far, far to the west.

Obvious exits:

South leads to Above the Prancing Pony.

Overhill Smial leads to Overhill Smial - Entrance Hall.

Leafturner Smial leads to Leafturner Smial - Living Room.

Up leads to Near the Top of Bree Hill.

Broad Way leads to Broad Way - North Bree.

================================== Bree Time ==================================

Real time: Sun Feb 21 15:21:32 2010

Bree time: Night on Sunday of Spring - April 2,1449

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous Moon

Breelands Weather

The night spring air is cool but pleasant around you. The night sky is cloud-filled and gloomy. The moon is above the horizon and in its waxing gibbous phase.

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It\'s a lovely spring evening - a little chilly, perhaps, but after the cold of winter who\'d complain? The sun has set, and the sky plays host to hundred upon hundreds of twinkling stars, all arrayed in the old familiar patterns. Down the hill a little way, the warm yellow lights of the Prancing Pony compete for the attention, making one wonder if there might still be time for a bite to eat and a pint to wash it down.

Brandebras Bywater is looking neither at sky above nor homely Inn down below. Instead the hobbit is pottering about in front of one of the smials, peering worriedly at the gravel path.

[Cobwidge(#16349)] \"Psst!\"

The sharp hiss comes from the other side of one of the smials\' little hills. \"Over here...\"

Brandebras\' curly head jerks up instantly. \"What? Have /you/ found it? I-\" The words cut off sharply, and an expression of distaste settles on his round face as he looks down toward his woolly toes, shuddering. \"Ugh.\"

[Cobwidge(#16349)] A hobbit comes walking slowly out from behind his hiding place, keeping himself carefully covered by shadow. He can be seen crossing his arms, and he stands still some distance from Brandebras. \"Why,\" he says after a slow chuckle, \"that depends on what you\'re looking for. Would y\' care to tell me just what that is?\"

Brandebras doesn\'t answer the question - fails, indeed, to look up at Cobwidge at all, preoccupied as he is in inspecting one of his furry feet. He shivers again - perhaps the evening chill is getting to him?

Then, at last, he speaks. In a small voice he announces, \"I think I just stood on a slug.\" Alas, the cool spring evening is attractive to more than just hobbits.

[Cobwidge(#16349)] \"I just stood on a slug?\" he repeats. \"That\'s clever code, but I don\'t know what it means... you see, I\'m not the one you\'ve been waiting on.\" Cobwidge comes out of the shadows and moves his arms down to his hips. \"I\'ve been watching you for some time, sir,\" he says with a tight glare, \"and I\'m on to you. Why don\'t you just come out with it? Where is he?\" His head jerks around as he scans the area.

While these words are going on, Brandebras is glancing first left and then right, rather like a hunted animal. \"The one I\'ve been waiting on?\" he repeats, perplexed, his gaze settling on a lavender bush. He moves hastily toward it, and for a moment there is silence whilst he bends to remove something from between the toes and then wipes that foot fastidiously against the bush. Then he turns, holding something out in his hand. \"He- he\'s here,\" he falters. \"I didn\'t /mean/ to step on him. Was he a pet?\" He looks as though he\'s about to burst into tears.

Cobwidge jumps backward as Brandebras moves, and scurries back into the shadows. \"No sudden movements! And, if that slug is from MY hill, there is goin\' to be trouble!\" He peers carefully at the bush for a moment and steps forward again, \"Alright--no more games. Where is he hiding? I know you and \"mayor\" Ferny are working together...\"

Brandebras freezes, rather like a rabbit that has just spied a hawk above. Maybe if he doesn\'t speak ... Then a whimper gives him away. \"I didn\'t /mean/ to,\" he repeats. Then something occurs to him, \"But if that slug was from /your/ hill, then what was he doing on my path?\" He takes a step forward, slowly, and his foot crunches on gravel - thankfully no more slugs.

\"And I\'ve not seen Mayor Ferny for months! I don\'t think he likes me very much, because of ... well, you know.\"

Cobwidge throws his head back and laughs loudly. \"You\'d like me to believe that, wouldn\'t you? I\'ll bet you two have in fact seen each other, and that you\'ve been rehearsing for this for months! Well, I\'m not a fool, sir.\" He shakes his fists, \"You people make me sick--first he takes Bree, now he wants Bree Hill? Well you tell him HE ISN\'T A GETTIN\' IT!!\" He stamps his foot for emphasis, his face scrunched up in anger.

It\'s a clear night, and in the light of the stars (not to mention that spilling from odd curtained window here and there along the row of smials) two hobbit-shapes can be clearly seen.

One of them, Brandebras, sets something small and limp down on the grass beneath a lavender bush then blinks at his companion. \"Rehearsing what, Mister .. um, Mister Tunnelly, is it? Is the Mayor putting on a play? I hadn\'t heard.\" His brown eyes are bright with eagerness for a moment, but then it fades. \"I don\'t suppose he\'d want me in it.\" He sounds quite woebegone.

The rest of the words haven\'t been missed either. \"The Mayor wants to buy Bree Hill? Really?\" His mouth falls open, but when Cobwidge stamps he closes it hastily. \"I wouldn\'t do that if I were you,\" he warns.

Cobwidge spits, \"How do you know my name? Oh ho, you\'re not foolin\' me at all, \'sir.\' You know exactly what I\'m talkin\' about, and you KNOW Ferny\'s not interested in buyin\' my hill. He\'s goin\' to try and take it, just like he stole--\" He pauses and moves back, once again, into the shadows of the next smial over. \"Wait a minute,\" he says suspiciously, \"Threatenin\' me, are you? Just as I thought, you ARE workin\' with the mayor.\" He backs up all the way over to the next smial. \"Just--er, just you stay back. And don\'t be comin\' up Bree Hill, either--I got the whole thing covered with traps!\"

As Cobwidge backs away into the shadows, Brandebras watches, his mouth falling back open. He blinks. \"But, Mister Tunnelly, if you set traps someone might get hurt!\" There is a brief pause.

\"And I wasn\'t threatening you. It\'s just ... I can see some more slugs.\" He pulls a face, wiping his hand against the leg of his trousers after having looked down to check that no more slimy invertebrates have made their way between his woolly toes.

[Cobwidge(#16349)] \"Well,\" says Cobwidge, \"that\'s the idea, isn\'t it? Not only that, they\'ll be trapped. And... and I\'m aholdin\' anyone who gets caught on the Hill until Ferny gives it up and forgets about takin\' his revenge. You TELL HIM!\" He bends over and picks up a small stone near the road, backing up a little more. He wrinkles his nose, \"Sure, you came to step on slugs. Nice try--I\'ve heard \'em all. It\'s just an excuse to get to ME! I want your name, sir, or.. or I\'m a throwin\' this rock at you, and don\'t you go underestimatin\' my aim!\" He passes the light from a nearby window and it\'s obvious that he\'s squinting and craning his neck forward to see.

\"But .. but ...\" splutters Brandebras, looking up again with a truly shocked expression. \"/Everyone/ uses Bree Hill. It\'s a nice place for a picnic. The school\'s going up there next week, little Daisy down the road told me. What if- if-\"

He lets the speech trail into appalled silence, then righteous indignation takes over. \"I think I should go and speak to the Breeguard about this. And if you don\'t know who I am, why were you talking to me like that? I\'m Brandebras Bywater. I /live/ here.\"

Cobwidge lets out a knowing \"ha!\" He tosses and catches the rock a few times as he replies, \"That\'s an old trick, which I\'m wise to. Sure, a bunch o\' children walkin\' up my hill seems innocent enough... until mayor Ferny jumps out from amongst them. I know him, I KNOW him! But, I don\'t know YOU. Come out with it, what\'s your real name? I\'m not afraid to throw this rock, you know.\" Without stopping to take a breath, he adds, \"Why, if you\'re who you say you are, and live where you say you do, then I\'m not the rightful mayor of Bree, nor am I the mayor of Bree Hill!\" He laughs, \"Which I AM!\"

\"I\'ve told you, I\'m Brandebras Bywater.\" Brandebras is starting to sound annoyed. He looks at the stone, then announces shrilly, \"If you do throw the stone, I\'ll file for assault. That\'s what Torebras would do! I wish /he/ was Mayor of Bree again.\" For just a moment his bravado cracks.

Cobwidge bahs, \"You can file your assaults wherever you please--just as long as it\'s somewhere far from my hill. Now, I suggest you turn around and go back to your precious mayor and come up with a new plan, because this one didn\'t work out for you!\" He scoffs, \"Torebras... he was after me, too. They all are, one mayor after the next--can\'t a hobbit get a little peace around here?!\"

\"I was about to ask that,\" says Brandebras plaintively, that brief flash of fire faded. \"This /is/ my smial.\" He gives Cobwidge a pointed \'move on, please\' stare.

Cobwidge, two smials away, winds back his arm. \"Very well,\" he calls, \"I\'m not a puttin\' any claims on this part of Bree--not while Ferny is in control anyway. Just don\'t let me catch you up on Bree Hill--and I\'m settin\' more traps, so you tell the mayor (who\'s probably hidin\' in that little \"smial\" of yours) it\'s about time to give it up.\" He lets the rock fly, but it goes hurtling off into some other direction. He squints even more to see how his aim was.

\"I assure you, Mister Ferny is not in here,\" says Brandebras primly. \"And I\'m going straight to the Breeguard in the morning!\" He stands there, hands on hips, until Cobwidge lets fly with the stone. Then, letting out a squeal, he dives straight for the door of his smial, heedless of any slugs he may squish on the way. It shuts behind him with a bang, and then comes the sound of a bolt being drawn. With lunatics on the loose, it\'s best to take no chances ...

Cobwidge turns and runs off up Bree Hill as fast as he can go, glancing over his shoulder every few steps.