(Archive) The Phantom Lettuce-Squasher — The Red Book of Westmarch

Garden(#31544Rto)

Summertime has settled comfortably on the Bree-lands. This small garden tucked away behind the Stone Houses of the Big Folk and down the hill from South Row is a testament to the hard work and care shown by the garderners who tend it. This garden has been divided up into small parcels, and really it only serves as a means of growing one or two plants for most of the gardeners. Most of the plants here are crops, like radishes, carrots or cabbages, though there are some decorative flowers also.

Obvious exits:

Toby Appledore\'s Back Door leads to Main Room.

West leads to Stone Houses.

Up leads to South Row.

================================== Bree Time ==================================

Real time: Wed Nov 18 06:36:51 2009

Bree time: Nighttime <23> on Hevensday of Summer - June 22,1448

Moon Phase: Last Quarter Moon

Breelands Weather

The nighttime summer air is very hot and dry around you. The sky is near black and studded with hundreds of stars.

===============================================================================

It\'s a lovely clear summer\'s evening, and the sky above Bree is studded with stars. Quite the perfect time to be out, in fact, if one likes just wandering along admiring the spectacle. One young hobbit is doing just that - Brandebras Bywater is meandering through the garden, not bothering to look at where his furry feet are carrying him, his neck twisted round as he stares up at the heavens above. \"That one must be the Swan, and that\'s the Eagle - no, that\'s not right. Looks more like a squashed bun - oh.\" His musings suddenly stop as one foot steps off the path and into a bed of lettuces. \"Oops,\" he mutters, colouring a little.

[Rosemary(#16658)] Rosemary strolls down the garden path on a beautiful summer evening. The sky is justgetting dark and the stars are popping out, one by one. Rosemary spies a rather clueless looking young hobbit meandering toward her, staring at the sky. He stumbles, predictably. Rosemary says \"Are you all right? You look a little confused.\"

Brandebras\' head whips round at the question, and he blinks in Rosemary\'s direction. \"Hello there. Do /you/ know what all the names of the stars are?\" Then, his features reddening a little more, he confesses, \"I\'m all right. But I don\'t think the lettuces are.\"

Rosemary laughs \"I know a few of the stars, not too many though.Do you know them?\"

\"Not really,\" Brandebras admits. \"But I thought it might be nice to learn.\" He pulls his furry foot back from the flower bed, shaking off earth, and crouches down to inspect the damage. Alas, two of the neat row of lettuces will never be the same again - their leaves have been crushed and flattened. \"Oh dear,\" he murmurs, then turns round brown eyes on Rosemary. \"What do you think I should do?\"

Rosemary frowns. \"Who owns this garden? You should probably tell them what happened. I\'ll tell them it was a mistake.\" She bends down to look at the lettuces. \"It does look pretty bad.\" she admits.

Brandebras flushes at Rosemary\'s assessment. \"I don\'t know whose patch this is.\" He screws up his features in thought. \"Mister Hollyhew\'s, maybe, or Mistress Kettleston\'s ... oh dear. I do hope it\'s not hers, she doesn\'t like me anyway. Because of the pot, you know.\" He rattles on, quite oblivious to the fact he\'s probably not making sense.

Rosemary smiles at the embarrassment of the young hobbit. She cuts into his string of apparently unrelated sentences with, \"If you\'d like, I can scout around for you and find out whose plot this is. Then I\'ll report back to you and you can decide what to do. I\'m new here, so no one will know me, and I can pretend I\'m interested in the superb tending of this plot.\"

Brandebras brightens at that. \"Would you? That\'s very kind - I didn\'t think I recognized you. You\'ll have to tell me your name. And if it /is/ Mistress Kettleston ... maybe you could speak to her? One of her pots went missing, and then it turned up in my house, and,\" his voice turns indignant, \"she thinks I /stole/ it!\" He quivers with outrage. \"But I didn\'t, really, it just appeared out of nowhe-\" There is the sound of footsteps at the edge of the garden - Big Person footsteps - and Brandebras lets out a squeak. \"I\'d better be going. See you later?\" And with a wave and a huff and a puff he scurries away before he can get into more trouble.

Garden(#31544Rto)

Obvious exits:

Toby Appledore\'s Back Door leads to Main Room.

West leads to Stone Houses.

Up leads to South Row.

================================== Bree Time ==================================

Real time: Wed Nov 25 06:42:52 2009

Bree time: Nighttime <00> on Monday of Summer - July 9,1448

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous Moon

Breelands Weather

The nighttime summer air is very hot and dry around you. The night sky is cloud-filled and gloomy.

===============================================================================

It\'s evening on a long, hot summer\'s day, and the westering sun casts long shadows across Bree\'s communal gardens. The place is quiet save for the chirrup of birds and the soft scrape of a trowel.

At first glance, the plot that Brandebras unintentionally damaged would seem to have miraculously recovered. There in place of a muddy gap stands an unbroken row of fine green lettuces. On looking closer, though, one would notice that this row is a little shorter than all the others - clearly the end plants have been moved to make things look nice and tidy. Down on her knees by the plot, carefully weeding is one of the Big Folk. \'Big\' is an apt description, for the middle-aged woman is stout, her gardening apron straining at the seams over an ample chest. Her grey-brown hair is tied back in a no-nonsense bun.

[Rosemary(#16658)] As the sun sinks in the western sky, Rosemary wanders through the garden. Every now and then, she stops to sniff a flower or admire a particularly large vegetable. \"What a lovely tomato plant.\" she sighs. \"I wish I could grow one.\" Strolling toward an end plot, she stops suddenly as she glimpses one of the Big Folk. \"Oh dear\" she exclaims, turning to run.

The Big Person must have ears like a fox. \"What was that, young lady?\" she demands snappishly, pushing herself to her feet with a groan and wiping her muddy hands on her apron. \"Something the matter?\" She looks Rosemary up and down, nosily.

[Rosemary(#16658)] \"N-no.\" Rosemary falters. \"I\'m f-fine, thank you.\" She starts to edge toward the gate.

Well, now. One thing Mrs Molly Kettleston can\'t abide is folk who don\'t give satisfactory answers. She clucks her tongue and bustles toward the gate too, at a different angle. With her longer legs, she\'s likely to get there first. \"You\'d not have said \'Oh dear\' if you were all right,\" she points out, peering down at the hobbit. \"Come on now, dearie, you can tell me all about it,\" she suggests, with a rather fake-looking smile. \"Can\'t be any worse than what happened to me the other week. Why,\" she pauses for dramatic effect, \"someone /sabotaged/ my vegetables! I\'d like to get my hands on the wretch, I would.\"

[Rosemary(#16658)] Rosemary gulps. \"Oh n-no, nothing\'s wrong.\" She looks at the sky for inspiration. \"I-it was j-just. . . um. . . I was trying to remember some poetry and it was stuck!\" She tries to smile weakly. \"S-so really not anything . . . \" she trails off.

\"Poetry?\" Mrs Molly Kettleston sniffs, then shakes her head. \"Air and nonsense! A nice young lady like yourself shouldn\'t be bothering with things like that. Stick to something sensible, like cooking or gardening. That\'s what I say.\" She nods her head emphatically, seeming to forget all about the Vegetable Sabotage - for the moment.

[Rosemary(#16658)] \"Oh, I like doing those things, too!\" Rosemary exclaims, eager to change the subject. \"Are these your tomatoes? They\'re just beautiful!\"

Flattery always wins. Mrs Kettleston preens at the praise. \"Why, thank you, dearie. They\'re doing well, though I say it myself. I\'m planning to enter them in this year\'s Best Vegetable Contest.\" Then a Dreadful Thought occurs to her. \"That is, if someone doesn\'t come in and ... and /sabotage/ them!\" She\'s clearly quite proud of that fancy word. \"People are just dreadful sometimes! Perhaps it\'s that Mr Kalefield, he couldn\'t abide me beating him last year. What do you think, dearie?\" Clearly, from the meaningful look she gives, she\'s expecting agreement.

[Rosemary(#16658)] \"Oh-oh yes, it\'s probably Mr. Kalefield. I bet he\'s jealous.\" Rosemary has obviously caught the meaning of that look. \"What you should do is set some snares around your plot! That would put paid to any maurauders.\"

\"Hmm? What?\" Mrs Kettleston blinks, staring first at Rosemary and then at the vegetable plot. \"Snares? You mean like ... traps? Why, that\'s a very .. ahem, interesting idea.\" She lowers her voice. \"You won\'t go mentioning it to anyone else, will you?\" Then she turns back to her plot, and starts to pace round it. \"I wonder ...\" Engrossed as she is, she\'s unlikely to notice Rosemary leaving.

[Rosemary(#16658)] Rosemary finally cuts and runs. Looking like a scared rabbit, she streaks out the gate.